Welcome to my first article in Unveiling Motherhood and thank you for being here with me. If any of these topics I’m going to discuss here resonate with you, my hope then is to that they will bring about hope, inspiration and possibly a new lense and perspective to see through, both as a woman and a mother.
So why am I now writing about this enormous topic?
Pregnancy has blown me wide open, it has started a both a personal evolution and internal revolution.
I was wondering, and still do a bit, if it might be better to wait till I’m through to the other side of this pregnancy to put some of this content out, however, sometimes live from the ground as things are happening is exactly where the information should be shared from.
I was not someone who always dreamed of having children. That’s the truth of it. I was a business owner for the last ten years. And even though we fully and consciously made the decision to embark on this journey I have to say, when I saw those two blue lines, I got a huge fright.
It felt like a door slammed shut behind me. The door to everything I once knew of my life, the one where I had full autonomy over my life and my decisions. And now, well what now? What is to become of me, being a mother in our current society.
What would that mean for me as a woman, wife, daughter, sister, friend, business owner?
Soon after our ‘big news’ dust settled I decided I needed to find out just exactly what that would mean for me, or as much of it as I could understand from where I was standing anyway.
And so, since December I’ve been on the ride of my life. Through my first and only pregnancy and our third lockdown in a global pandemic, I’ve searched high and low for these answers. I’ve encountered and spoken with amazing women and health professionals along my quest. I’ve embarked and am currently in the middle of doing a Sociology certification in the liberation of motherhood and I at 27 weeks pregnant I attended my first protest, for better maternity care for the women in our country. It’s been wild.
I’ve since come to know well the term Matrescence – the journey a woman goes through from pregnancy into motherhood…it’s an actual physical, emotional and physiological transformation…did you know that? I bloody didn’t, though to be honest I could feel it, unaware it was an actual thing though.
I’ve learnt what ‘The Pregnancy Bliss Myth’ is and how badly we need to change the existing narrative that all women simply bloom in pregnancy. Research shows it couldn’t be further from the truth for many women. It’s support and validation of each individual experience (good or bad) that’s needed.
I now have a deeper understanding of the, often huge, identity shift that occurs as women through Matrescence and into motherhood, and how complex that is for women in our cultural society and the some of the varying reasons for this.
And I’ve learnt the terms ‘Intensive Mothering’ the ‘The Perfect Mother Myth’ – the patriarchal structure of motherhood, generationally handed down, that is embedded in our culture. The perfect mother myth talks about what it means to be a ‘good mother’ or ‘bad mother’ in our society today and how having an understanding around motherhood as the institution in which we all live in, can help individuals consider the most empowering way for them to mother, as an woman first.
And so I invite you along my journey with me and thank you for being here, as I unpack and unveil what it means to be a woman and a mother in our culture today. I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences and hopefully we can walk together from exactly where we are. As a women’s coach I hope that what I’m learning now will further equip me to hold space for women from a broadened place of understanding and deeper compassion.